


Journal for Closed Doors

by Whispering_Imp



Category: British Actor RPF, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Real Person Fiction, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom, Wallander (UK TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, BDSM, Blood, Bondage, Call Boy!Tom, Chastity Device, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Hooker!OFC, Hurt/Comfort, Loki Does What He Wants, M/M, Multi, Plugs, Rough Sex, Slut Shaming, Tagging as I go, Tenderness, Violence, and bad things, hooker life is difficult, planed a variety of stuff, there'll be good things, venture with care
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2014-09-30
Packaged: 2018-02-03 14:44:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1748345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whispering_Imp/pseuds/Whispering_Imp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When friends got separated, we write to keep from loneliness. We pretend to talk to them still. We continue with our lives. And gradually, we fill blank pages with all the things we want to say to each other. Until we meet again.</p><p>This is the diary of a hooker girl and her caller boy.</p><p>Author's note:<br/>Everything is styled as diary entries, from the OFC as well as Tom (though his will come a little later). The OFC writes in "normal" and Tom in <b>"bold."</b></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. #00 - Maria (Hijacked by T. Hiddy!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really shouldn't be posting, what with finals and everything. But I got part of this written a while back and is so inpatient to get it out here. This one has been so much fun to write. I get to engage so much more characters and sexual dynamics.
> 
> Here's a little tease. Enjoy! (I'll be updating much more constantly after two weeks.)

Okay, like I promised, here’s the diary.

(Tom, I know you’re cringing. And I know it’s not supposed to be called a diary because we _will_ suck at writing everyday. But what can you do? I’m writing first, so naturally I get to call it whatever I want.)

Right, here goes.

Dear “Diary,” (Because this is how you start these things, right?)

This is the story of how you came to be. Tom suggested we start writing everything down since we won’t be seeing each other much from now on. He is going to start working incall tomorrow. Some pretty wealthy guy caught a fancy in him. He’s paying a handsome amount for Tom to stay around his place for a for a week. And so our nightly storytelling on the streets is coming to an end. Being the romantic he is, Tom then insisted that we turn to pen and paper, even though I think such stories are too indecent and are better left forgotten. After all they are stories of a hooker girl and a caller boy. But Tom convinced me otherwise. He always does.

So here I am sitting in the park and writing. Thinking how happy I am for Tom to get off the streets. It’s less risky and less tiresome. I’ll really miss seeing his shadows lurking outside the dim streetlights, though. I felt safer knowing I wasn’t alone when I searched for customers. Tom knows, and I’m sure he’s worried about me now. I hope he wouldn’t. I can take care of myself. I did before. Dear Tom, I hope you give full attention to that wealthy caller. I’m sure he’ll be addicted to you after the first night. Pray don’t spare a thought for me.

God, I wish I can stop thinking about him. It’s only been two days and I’ve missed him terribly. So far the days are uneventful, and there’s nothing to keep me distracted. The upside is, I got to rest properly. Tonight, ‘ll be on the move again. I’m going back near the beach bars. The cops should have thinned out their forces by now. Hopefully customers still come around if only for the scenery.

Well, I should be going home, now. My dress need some patching up **—** the work of the violent guy **—** again. Don’t you think I should have charged him more? I wish I had.

\--

**Ouch! You really thought I wouldn’t try to see you before I go? That hurts even more than that incredibly insensible slap. I’m not quite sure I deserve either, baby.**

**Please don’t feel guilty about the dress, Maria. I’ve wanted to buy it for you ages ago. You deserve it. Same goes for the flat. I can’t believe I didn’t think of having you move in before. That landlady of yours has been sucking you dry. It’s not fair. I don’t care what you say, I don’t want you worry about the rent anymore, okay? By they way, I’m sorry she lost her temper and took it out on you because of me. I should have warned you about moving your stuff, but I wanted to keep it a surprise.**

**Just so you know, you’re always on my mind. Please don’t waste your prayers on hopeless causes. How about spending your time anticipating my homecoming instead? I’ll do my best to remember everything so I can tell you all about wealthy Mr. Stark. Who knows? I might get to do something fun since he seems to have money to spare.**

**Best of luck, my darling. Be really really careful. I’ll be back soon. Lots of love. ~Tom**

**P.S. Raise the extra fees, girl!  
** **P.P.S. I’m not going to argue with you over the name of a stack of bounded papers.**

\--

Tom you bastard. You think moving people’s belongings without telling them doesn’t deserve a slap? I thought my place was ransacked! Also, how dare you steal my entry. I hope Mr. S have you sore and limping. Seriously, though, thanks for everything. I love you! xxx

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'll be back we more in a few weeks. In the mean time, it'd be lovely if you let me know what you think in the comments.


	2. Fandral, Blondie-Mustache - Maria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loving touches and gentle love-make came rarely. But as they say "When they seldom come, they wish'd for come." For a hooker girl accustomed to manhandling, it was as good as a blessing.

There’s still good business at the beach house. People tend to tip more when they’re drunk. Most of the regulars didn’t show up, though. The few who remained were the bolder ones, and have higher tastes. They asked about Tom and lost interest when I said he’s off working. New faces are much more friendly. I guess they just don’t know what they’ve missed.

Even though Tom told me not to worry about rant and everything, I can’t and won’t live off his earnings. I do have some pride left, for God’s sake! So I took a few more rounds than usual. It’s a pity none of them had cash enough to ask for a full session: One quick fuck and several blow jobs in the can. By midnight my throat was raw. You would think the newbies never knew what tongues can do. I don’t know when Tom’s going to admit that I’m just better than he is at tongue-work. How much proof does he need?

I can’t stop missing him, though. Everything I do make me think of him. Without Tom around I feel much more vulnerable. After I finished the rounds, I thought I’d head home early, before the drunken chaos starts. I was was walking down 13th street when a midnight-blue convertible pulled up near me. The driver was blond with a neat but kind of old fashioned mustache. He looked close if not slightly over 30. Well-dressed. Flashy.

“It’s not safe for a young maiden to walk the streets alone at this untimely hour.” he said. His voice was higher than I anticipated. He flashed a smile, too bright for the dim lights of the streets.

“One has to do what she can to survive, sir.” I answered.

He looked me over unabashedly. “Well, how about a romantic evening? I can use a flower of a company.”

“Yes sir. Anything you want.” I was leaning on the brim of his car by then. It was a dangerous position, and I kept a wary lookout for coppers. Still, the man looked rich, and was pleasant enough for me to want to try and please him a little more. “For a good-looking gentleman like you sir, I wouldn’t be able to resist even if I want to.”

“Well said, dove. Hope on. Quickly. I think you’re being watched.” He offered me his hand as I climbed into the car. “I’m Fandral, by the way.”

His comment chilled me a little. But as we sped off into the night, the wind blew away all my worries.

***

“So, let’s get this out of the way and we can have the night to ourselves.” Fandral said over the wind. “I like to know how much you’d expect from me.”

“50 minimum. Extra for additional requests. Tip me however you wish after that.” I felt my face burning, even in the blowing wind. Talking like this with “Elegant Blondie-mustache” felt too crude. Whether it was a trick of the night, I don’t know. But he looked and sounded fabulous. “I didn’t expect you to ask sir. You seemed too cool to care.”

He laughed. “I gotta know what I’m getting myself into.” His hand trailed up my skirt as he spoke. “I’ll pay you double for good love-making. I hate senseless fucking. How can the body be pleased without a satisfied mind? What do you think? Deal?”

“You are most generous sir.” I put a hand over his and caressed the back of his hand with my thumb. It has become rare for people to want love, be it faked or real. I decided this this boy’s a keeper. Too bad he’d probably disappear into the haze when morning came.

***

Few people like it gentle these days. If it’s love they want, they’d go home to their partners. I didn't believe him at first, but Fandral meant what he asked for.

We set at the beach. The sound of traffic had since ceased in the small hours of the new day. The sound of waves filled darkness. Stars above shown brighter than ever. I sat between Fandral’s legs. Caged between these long limbs, I could feel him: Already hard, but not overly eager. I took the leisure of exploring his body. He was all muscle, not just in the chest and abdomen, but the legs too. There was no trace of redundant fat under his leather trousers.

I clutched to his hands to my bosom, our fingers intertwined together. He squeezed a little as I leaned back to kiss him. His mustache tickled my face. He nibbled my lip for permission. I granted his wish and sighed, letting him explore.

I led his hands under my shirt, and let him feel my breasts. He sneaked under my bra rather impatiently as I hurriedly unhooked them from the front. I left his hands rolling my nipples and massaging my breasts, and reached above to lace my fingers in his hair.

Presently, I broke away from the kiss. “Fandral, my love, let me worship you.”

He released me and I turned over in his embrace, removing my shirt and half-opened bra. Kneeling half-naked between Blondie’s long legs, I looked into his eyes. They were lit with desire. The moonlight making them shine. I kissed his lips lightly again before making my way downwards, unbuttoning his shirt and kissing the strong muscles underneath. My legs were off the beach towel and sand stuck to my skin and scratches my knee. Fandral brushed my hair aside and caressed my back as I worked his trousers open with my teeth. Surprise, surprise. He had no undergarments on. “Oh you naughty boy!”

I held him gingerly with my tongue and teased with a light swirl to the left and right. He fisted my hair rather painfully.

“Oh yes baby! Do that again.”

So I licked him from base to tip, where salty precum was already beading. He said he wanted romantic love-making, but I expected animal instincts to take control in the end. It didn’t. Fandral suppressed his desire to thrust right down my throat and allowed me to do my work. He was an admirable gentleman.

He rolled his hips ever so slightly, taking care not to make me gag. He trembled, and I know he was close. I thought he’d like to finish like that, but he stopped me, lifting my head away from him with gingerly. Composing myself, I licked the underside of his shaft one last time and backed away from him. He closed his legs and lay down for me. Crawling along his body, I seated myself just beneath his manhood. I was wet and dripping. I rubbed myself on his shaft and he groaned.

I reached for the condom pack but he stopped me. “Don’t. I don’t mind.”

That was unusual. It’s been a long time since I got such requests. I nearly didn’t put in my cervical cap. But I did. And if he doesn’t mind, neither would I.

***

When I woke, it was near noon in a luxury hotel suit. Fandral took us here. We had cuddled and he caressed me to sleep the previous night. I got up, showered, and searched for him, knowing well he was probably miles away by now. I found an envelope with two hundred-dollar bills and note on the coffee table next to a pot of roses.

_Thank you for a wonderful night, sweet lady. We may yet meet again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: Out of the shadows came a gentleman in green and a voice slick with trouble.


	3. Loki of Asgard - Maria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the devil came, he came in silence.
> 
> Warning: this chapter is practically rape. Slut-shaming, bondage, anal, rough and unsafe-sex are involved. If any of this bothers you, please do not proceed.

I could hardly sit still and write properly. But I want to do this, to write it all down so that I wouldn’t lost my nerve and decide to keep this from Tom. Oh but the idea of alarming him with my story makes me want to stop right now and rip out the pages! But how can I not tell him when I want to be honest to him? I have to write even though my mind is fogged. I cannot tell how accurate my account of the latest event will be. I am tired. I frigid in my sleep and can do nothing about it. This frustration is getting unbearable. I hope I can hold on until tomorrow, until I have to see him again. I do not look forward to seeing him, but he alone can release me from this misery.

***

He came out of nowhere last night. I didn’t even know he was there until a hand squeezed my behind, fingers probed my rare through my skirt and panties. His hands on my bum and shoulder felt strong. He held me fast.

“You look ravishing little bird.” the mysterious man whispered in my ear. “I could take you right here.”

“Please sir. Not on the sidewalks. The police—”

“Hmph.”

He cut me off with a sneer. I tried to see his face, but never got the chance. He pulled me into the dark alley nearby and shoved me against the rough brick wall. When I put out my arms to steady myself he grabbed them and held them behind my back. He must have held me down with only one hand for my head was tightly pressed to the wall. I prayed it doesn’t scratch my face.

He leaned in and spoke in a dangerous undertone. “Your objection displeases me. I shall be kind and wave it off as ignorance. However, there will not be another time. Do you understand, you worthless whore? ANSWER ME!”

“Y-Yes sir.”

He let go of my hands to unfasten his trousers. I didn’t dare move. Here was one of those people who enjoy complete power. It’s better to avoid any excuse for a brutal beating. I had a feeling I’d get a painful shag no matter what. I was wrong. Oh I was so wrong.

In a few seconds, I felt his hands on me again. He fisted my hair painfully and pressed my head to the wall with equal brutality. With the other hand, he hitched my skirt up over my bums and tore my panties. Without further warning, certainly without any preparation, he kicked my legs apart and forced his way into my dry cunt. He was freezing cold, and Gods! He was colossal! It was as if he stuck a block of ice in me. Burning pain shot through my spine and down my legs. My knees buckled but he held on to me, nails digging into flesh. I nearly screamed. Biting my lips I stopped myself only just in time. The last thing I need was for annoyed shop owners and residents calling the police. The man would probably accuse me of assault and walk off unhindered as I get arrested.

“Suppressing your sounds again and you’ll regret it, slut.” He snarled and wrenched my arms back. This time, he tied my wrists together, much tighter than necessary.

Numbness in my fingers spread immediately. Throughout all this, the man’s brutal thrusts never slowed. I sobbed into the wall. My mind was a blur. I was desperate to plead before the ability for verbal communication is lost to me.

“Sir, please. If the neighbors hear us, I’ll be in trouble.”

Frost formed around my neck and hardened into an ice collar. It grew inwards, squeezing the breath out of me.

“What did I say about objection?” He yanked my head back and spoke directly in my ear. “I want you to scream so all nine realms hear you. Let the universe know that you belong to Loki of Asgard.”

No! It can’t be.

“Loki,” I wheezed. That name alone means doom. I whimpered. I didn’t care if I get paid or not. I didn’t care if he hurt me or shame me. I just wanted out. Quickly.

“That’s right,” Loki purred. “You recognize the name, don’t you? You mewling quim. Now scream my name!”

He slammed into me with renewed force. The ice around my neck shattered.

“Loki!”

“Again. Whore.”

“Loki!”

His ice-cold shaft made lubrication impossible. My mind had gone into a state of hysteria. I recall thinking of Mother warning against licking ice in winter time, and I wanted to giggle. This was far worse. I can only imagine what was happening to me down below. I must be getting frost bites for I could hardly feel a thing. It felt like forever before he finally came. My throat was raw with screaming, and my face wet with tears. He cut my bounds but I cannot feel my arms. My lower body felt equally nonexistent. All I knew was the splitting pain deep in my core. I hardly registered when the God insearted a dilodo into me. When I finally realized what he was doing my eyes widened. Against my better judgement, I struggled.

That earned me a slap on the bum so forceful the momentum caused me to slump the wall like a rag doll. “HOLD STILL. I’m not finished with you yet.” Loki said through gritted teeth.

There was a pounding pain in my head. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t understand what more he could possibly want from me. When I felt his manhood, still hard and soaked in cum and blood and my body fluids pressed against my rear entrance, I cried. I could not take anymore.

“Yes. Cry your eyes out, weakling. It won’t help you.”

With that, he tore through me. I swear the sound of tearing flesh could be heard were it not for my inhuman screams. Streetlights flickered. A ghostly wind stirred up the debris in the dark alleyway. I shivered. Cold sweat slide down my jawline and joined the free flowing tears. Loki reached over to tore open my clothing and yanked away the delicate lace bra to grab my breast. His nails dug into flesh, drawing blood that got frozen almost immediately.

I  clawed the bricks. Was I trying to get away or did I hope to dug my way through the wall? I do not know. I was practically unconscious when he poured his seed inside me for the second time. He pulled out and plugged me like he did before.

Loki spun me round. However, I was unable to support myself, and slumped against him. I suppose by this time the fact that he was not wearing normal clothing but was in fact in full body armor shouldn’t be surprising. But my mind, in an attempt to overlook the broken state of my body, registered with profound clarity the sharp smell of polished metal and the lingering musk of horses mixed with leather. The blend of expensive attire pushed me away with disgust. I leaned against the wall, fixing my gaze on a piece of dirty paper on the ground between Loki and me. I shivered in my disheveled condition. The upper left side of my dress was torn to shreds, exposing my bruised breast; the thin straps curled and fall against my arm. I hope Loki had had his fun torturing me and would leave me be. Instead, the God grabbed my chin and forced me to look up at his face.

I gasped.

I must have gone mad because his face, my god his face… Looked exactly like Tom. Yet at the same time he looked completely different. His eyes glared daggers. His lips curled in a cruel smirk. His jaws clenched with strength. Yet the familiar features of my gentle and loving friend were all there. I wanted to say something, but no sound came out. Loki hold up a folded stack of bills and placed it between my trembling lips.

“Hold these.” he said, voice softer than I’ve heard him all night.

He put a hand on my stomach and muttered words I couldn’t understand. I stood fearfully but transfixed while he worked. The pains on my insides gradually reduced to a dull throbbing. I am still cold, but the shivering had ceased. Loki waved a hand and produced a chastity belt out of thin air. I shrank against the wall. I couldn’t believe he intended to put me in that.

“Stop being stupid and come here or you will regret it.” He pulled me over and took the money between my lips. He slipped it between the shield and my cunt before locking the belt in place. A click of his fingers and both the plug and dildo started vibrating. I staggered back and would have tripped over had Loki reached out to steady me. He ginned with glee as I fidgeted in front of him. I could hear myself whimpering as I engaged in a series of movements consisting of pressing my legs together, bucking forward, and trying to double over when held immobile. He cupped my tear streaked face. “You are as ravishing as you looked,  little bird. It pleases me. Come back here in two days. I shall be waiting. And don’t you dare try to force the lock.”

He closed the distance and forced a kiss. Taking advantage of my bewilderment, his tongue entered with little resistance. I could have swore his tongue was forked. As if for the sole purpose of busting my observations, he pulled away and laughed, open-mouthed. His tongue was as normal as any human being. Like Tom.

Somewhere in the proximity came the sound of police sirens. I looked to the open street with worry. When I turned back, the God had disappeared.

“Better fly now, little bird.”

Those words sounded in my ear as blue and red lights bounces off the glass windows on the houses facing the street. I shrank into the shadows and waited, trying hard to stifle the moans and whimpers threatening to came out. I waited for many minutes after the police car passed before venturing out from my hiding place. I stumbled. There were still pain enough between my legs that I limped. With a sigh, I took off my heels, try the best I could to lift the torn fabric of my clothes to cover myself, and started the long and painful walk home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: T. Hiddy is coming home!


	4. Finally Home - Tom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom came home to an unexpected sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To my dear readers, it has been a long while. I'm sorry to say I got caught by a serious writers block this summer. Being unsatisfied by what I had, and not able to come up with something better, I took a break from the _Journal_ and worked on new stuff. Thankfully, inspiration is coming back. I hope I can deliver the best I can offer. This is all for you. So once again, thank you for being patient and ever so supportive.

**The moment I opened the door, I knew something’s wrong. My little studio felt disused. A musky smell told of unopened windows. The blinds were drawn and room dark. I thought maybe Maria’s self conscience got the better of her and she ran away from my offer of living together again. I was disappointed for a moment, thinking about her stubbornness. She’d work herself overtime just to get by independently. I was startled out of my thoughts when I heard whimpering and mutterings coming from the bed.**

**I found Maria fast asleep under the thick blankets. She was shivering violently despite being completely drenched in sweat. Her lips quivered and kept repeating, “No, please sir. Please, I can’t take it anymore. Please. No…” It was alarming. I don’t know whether I should wake her or not. People will only remember nightmares if you wake them in the middle of one, right? But seeing her miserable pleading gave no sign of stopping, I feel obliged to get her out of there.**

**I didn’t expect her to shuffle away from me with horror when I finally shook her awake. She yelped and cried in alarm.“It’s okay. Maria. It’s me. It’s Tom. You’re safe now. It’s only a bad dream...” I cooed like a nervous parent as I hurriedly moved to save her from falling off the bed. She jumped at my touch before finally calming down enough to stay still. Her eyes seemed to see me for the first time. “Tom?” she asked uncertainly, as if she didn’t quite know me.**

**“Yes darling,” I assured her, “it’s me. I’m back.”**

**Suddenly, she dived into my arms and sobbed. “Oh Tom!” She cried and shivered. She was drenched in sweat. Her beautiful long hair clang to her face and neck. I tried to brush them over her shoulder, hoping to make her more comfortable. The blankets fell away from her and I started at the sight. She was nude except for a silver chastity belt. I cannot think why any street John would want that. Sexual deprivation wouldn't be interesting if the chance of seeing the sufferer again is slim. Unless the person was a mindless sadist; Or, of course, if Maria plans to see her client again.**

**“What happened, darling? Who did this to you?” She didn't answer so I just held her and waited. Eventually she recovered enough to point at the diary. She hadn't said another word before she fell back into fitful sleep.**

**She looks completely spent, lying there beside me as I write. There isn't much I can do so I'll just stop here for now and start reading her entries. They should hopefully shed a light on this strange business.**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: Tom inserted neatly-folded pieces of paper into the journal. He had spent every chance of free time with pen in hand during his "business trip".


End file.
